Grandparent Scams: How They Work and How to Protect Your Family

A grandparent scam is a phone call, text or message from someone pretending to be your grandchild, or someone speaking for them, who says they’re in trouble and need money right away. The story is usually an arrest, a car accident or a hospital stay, and the caller asks you to keep it secret. The safest response is to hang up, then call your grandchild or their parents on a number you already know. If money has already gone, call your bank straight away and report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, ic3.gov and to your local police. For every reporting option in one place, including outside the US, see how to report a scammer.

These calls work because they’re built around love and panic, not because anyone is foolish. Scammers rush you so you don’t have time to think. This guide explains how the scam runs, the signs to listen for, and simple steps families can put in place today.

How a grandparent scam usually works

The details change, but most calls follow the same path.

1. The opening line. “Grandma, it’s me.” Many callers never give a name and wait for you to fill it in: “Is that you, Michael?” From then on, they’re Michael.
2. The emergency. They’ve been in a car crash, been arrested, or are stuck abroad. They may say their nose is broken or they have a cold, to explain why their voice sounds different.
3. The secret. “Please don’t tell Mom and Dad, I’m so embarrassed.” This is the most important part of the scam, because it stops you from checking.
4. The authority figure. A second person comes on the line: a “lawyer”, “public defender”, “police officer”, “bail bondsman” or “court clerk”. They sound calm and official, and they explain how to pay bail, fines or medical costs.
5. The payment. Cash handed to a “courier” who comes to your door, cash mailed in a package, gift cards read out over the phone, a wire transfer, a payment app, or cash fed into a crypto ATM.
6. The second call. Once you’ve paid, they call again. The charges got worse, the other driver wants money, the court needs more. It keeps going until someone stops it.

Some versions now use a cloned voice made from videos your grandchild posted online. If the voice sounded exactly right, read our guide to AI voice cloning scams. The same checks work either way.

Warning signs to listen for

• Urgency. You’re told to act in the next hour, before a hearing, or “before they transfer him”.
• Secrecy. You’re asked not to tell other family members, or told there’s a “gag order”.
• Unusual payment. Gift cards, cash in the mail, a courier collecting cash, crypto or a wire. Real courts, police and lawyers don’t take bail in gift cards or send someone to your house for cash.
• A voice that’s a bit off, explained away by an injury, crying or a bad line.
• Pressure to stay on the phone so you can’t call anyone else.
• Coaching. You’re told what to say to the bank teller if they ask why you’re withdrawing cash, for example “say it’s for home repairs”.
• Anger or guilt when you hesitate: “You’re going to leave me in jail?”

What to do during the call

You don’t need to work out whether the caller is real. You only need to check before you pay.

1. Slow down. Say “I need to call you back” and hang up. A real family emergency will still be there in ten minutes.
2. Call your grandchild on the number you already have, not a number the caller gives you. If they don’t answer, call their parents, a sibling or another relative.
3. Ask a question only the real person would know. Not something on social media, like a pet’s name. Better: “What did we have for dinner last time you visited?”
4. Use your family code word, if you’ve set one (more on that below).
5. If they say it’s a police matter, look up the police department or court yourself and call its main number. Don’t use a number or website the caller gives you.
6. Tell someone. Break the secret. Call a son, daughter, neighbor or friend and say out loud what’s happening. Scams tend to fall apart the moment another person hears the story.

If you’ve already sent money

Act quickly, and please don’t let embarrassment slow you down. People who work in fraud hear from families in this situation all the time.

1. Stop all contact. Don’t answer if they call back, and don’t pay again, even if they promise it’s the last time.
2. Call your bank or card company using the number on your card or statement. Ask whether the transfer or payment can be stopped or reversed, and ask them to flag your account.
3. If you paid with gift cards, call the company that issued the cards (the number is usually on the back) and tell them the cards were used in a scam. Keep the cards and receipts.
4. If you mailed cash, contact the shipping company right away with the tracking number. Packages can sometimes be stopped before delivery.
5. If a courier came to your home, call your local police and describe the person and any vehicle. Couriers are sometimes caught at the next house.
6. Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov. The US Department of Justice also runs the National Elder Fraud Hotline at 1-833-FRAUD-11 (1-833-372-8311), which can help older adults and their families work out where to report.
7. Write down what happened while it’s fresh: phone numbers, names used, times, amounts, and how you paid.

Be ready for a follow-up. Scammers sometimes call later posing as a “fraud recovery” service, a government agency or even a lawyer who can get your money back for a fee. That’s a second scam. Our guide to recovery scams explains how to spot it.

A worked example

This is an illustrative scenario, not a real case.

Dorothy, 78, gets a call at 9 p.m. A young man is crying: “Grandma, I messed up. I hit a car and they found something in the car that isn’t mine.” He asks her not to tell his mom. A man then comes on the line saying he’s a court-appointed attorney. He says bail is set and a courier can collect cash from her tonight so her grandson doesn’t spend the night in jail.

1. Dorothy says she needs to find her glasses and will call back. The “attorney” insists she stay on the line. That insistence makes her uneasy.
2. She hangs up and calls her grandson’s cell phone from her address book. He answers from his dorm, confused and fine.
3. She calls her daughter to tell her what happened, then writes down the number that called and what was said.
4. She reports the call at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and tells her local police non-emergency line that a courier may be sent to her address.
5. At the next family dinner, they agree on a code word.

How to protect your family before it happens

Set a family code word

Pick a word or short phrase that everyone in the family knows and nobody posts online. Something odd and memorable works best, like an old family joke. Agree that anyone calling with an emergency and asking for money will be asked for it. If they can’t give it, you hang up and call back on a known number. Say it out loud now and then so older relatives remember it.

Agree on a “call back” rule

Make it a family habit: nobody sends money on the strength of a single call. Everyone agrees that they’d rather be checked than rescued. Once it’s a rule, nobody feels rude doing it.

Keep numbers handy

Older relatives should have current cell numbers for grandchildren and their parents, written on paper as well as stored in the phone. Checking is easier when the number is right there.

Think about what’s public

Scammers often use social media to learn grandchildren’s names, where they’re traveling and who they’re close to. Travel posts shared in real time are especially useful to them. Our guide to online privacy tips covers simple settings, and you can reduce the personal details that data brokers publish with our guide on removing yourself from people search sites.

Talk about it without shame

The best protection is an older relative who feels comfortable saying “I got a strange call.” If families talk about these scams openly, there’s no reason for anyone to keep a secret. Older relatives are also common targets of Medicare scams, such as calls asking for a Medicare number.

Common mistakes to avoid

• Calling back the number that called you. It goes straight back to the scammer. Use the number you already have.
• Trusting caller ID. Numbers can be faked to look like a police station, a hospital or a family member.
• Giving the name first. If you say “Is that you, Emma?”, the caller will happily become Emma.
• Paying “just this once” to be safe. Payment tells the scammer you’ll pay again.
• Keeping it quiet afterwards. Reporting quickly gives your bank the best chance to help, and it protects the next family.
• Blaming the person who was targeted. If it happened to a parent or grandparent, lead with kindness. People who feel judged are less likely to speak up next time.

When the scam affects your name online

Sometimes the damage goes beyond money. Your phone number may end up on scam lists, or a grandchild’s photos and name may be used in fake profiles. If your family’s details are easy to find online, or something harmful appears when people search your name, our personal reputation management service can help assess what’s out there and what can be removed or reduced. If a scammer used your photos or name to impersonate you, see our guide on online impersonation.

Frequently asked questions

How do I know if a call is a grandparent scam?

Listen for urgency, a request for secrecy, a second person who claims to be a lawyer or police officer, and a request for cash, gift cards, crypto or a wire transfer. Any of these is a reason to hang up and call your grandchild or their parents on a number you already know.

Would a real lawyer or police officer ask me to send a courier cash?

No. Police officers, courts and lawyers don’t send couriers to collect cash from your home, and they don’t take bail or fines in gift cards. If someone claiming to be one of them asks for this, it’s a scam. Look up the agency’s number yourself and call to check.

Can I get money back after a grandparent scam?

Sometimes, especially if you act quickly. Call your bank or card company first, then the gift card company or shipping company if those were used. Cash handed to a courier and crypto are hard to recover, but reporting to your local police, ReportFraud.ftc.gov and ic3.gov still helps investigators.

What is a family code word?

It’s a private word or phrase your family agrees on and never shares online. If someone calls claiming to be a relative in trouble and asking for money, you ask for the code word. If they can’t give it, you hang up and call the relative directly.

Should I report the call even if I didn't pay?

Yes. A report to ReportFraud.ftc.gov takes a few minutes and helps authorities track the numbers and patterns being used. If the caller knew your address or said a courier was coming, tell your local police as well.